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Re: For the attention of anybody Scottish...

Chaney's Laptop wrote:
> The scene is a Glasgow court and a witness (a ned) is being questioned by a
> rather plummy mouthed Advocate Depute (AD).
>
> AD: "You say you went to your friend's house that night. Why did you go
> there?"
>
> WITNESS: "Tae get a tap."
>
> AD: "Is your friend a plumber?"
>
> WITNESS: "Naw."
>
> AD: "Are you a plumber?"
>
> WITNESS: "Naw."
>
> The witness is a bit bewildered by this line of questioning and the AD
> realises it, but notices that the court police officer is rubbing his
> fingers of one hand together in the universal gesture of money. Daylight
> apparently dawns on the AD and he changes his line of questioning
> accordingly.
>
> AD: "So you went to the house to borrow money?"
>
> WITNESS: "Naw."
>
> AD: "Ah. You went to the house to lend money?"
>
> WITNESS: "Naw."
>
> In exasperation the AD says, "You told the court you went to your friend's
> house for a tap. What kind of a tap was it?"
>
> WITNESS: ".......................A Sellick tap."
>
>

Don't give up the day job! :-)

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