Re: Flood songs (Was: umf-ers in Cumbria?)

Stealing, though I much prefer to think of it as improving on, an idea
in the ensuing issue of Private Eye, I wrote something a bit like that
once :-)

LINES WRITTEN TO COMMEMORATE THE GREAT STORM
OF FRIDAY 16TH OCTOBER 1987
-------------------------------------------------------------------

WILLIAM McGONAGALL
---------------------------

Twas the middle of October in nineteen-eighty-seven
That there came such a storm from Almighty in Heaven,
A hurricane coming from out of the blue
And whence and wherefore it had come not even Met men knew.
The whole population lay senseless abed
With a veritable tempest a-roaring overhead;
Like the rabid Paisley on it roared and roared
While gentlemen in England simply snored and snored.
But morning came and truly it was Britain's darkest hour -
Or so thought every yuppie with home deprived of power -
And the morning's news were carrying such scenes of devastation
Ye wondered if Hurricane Higgins had headbutted half the nation.
Ye'd've thought that in a country so accustomed to hot air,
A mere touch of wind would not lead to such despair
But millions were unable to reach their place of work -
At least upon this Friday morn they did not need to shirk -
For going to the station to catch the eight-o-three
Many a pinstripe's way was blocked by many a fallen tree;
This in itself would not have been such hell
But the fairways of the golf-course were blocked by trees as well;
Huge numbers were uprooted and had fallen on the roads,
And lorries on the motorways had also shed their loads.
But all around on every hand a wondrous sight to see ...
The people bought out chainsaws and cups of strong sweet tea,
And neighbours, barely talking since the darkest days of Blitz,
Found severing their fingers such a change from page three tits.
But soon there grew a strange vibration, a muttering across the
nation,
In all the population one theme of conversation,
"Why were we not told?!", all the tuppenny pundits yelped -
Though not a single hack could say how knowing might've helped -
Till the great and glorious British had but a single wish ...
The televised beheading of McCaskill, Kettley, and Fish.

Charles Macfarlane
----------------------

( with apologies to Private Eye, Issue 675, 30th October 1987 )
------------------------------------------------------------------------

On Sun, 22 Nov 2009 20:52 +0000 (Eur), nospam@see.sig.to.reply (Rafe
Culpin) wrote:

> In article <0N2xYzRRbZCLFwxk@molly.mockford>,
nospamnobody@mollymockford.me.uk
> (Molly Mockford) wrote:
>
>     Beautiful railway bridge of the silv'ry Tay
>     Alas! I am very sorry to say
>     That ninety lives have been taken away
>     On the last sabbath day of 1879
>     Which shall be remembered for a very long time.
--
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